The rose as a symbol of love
Some would say that if it hurts, it is not love. Others would argue that pain belongs to love as thorns belong to a rose. We will not try to solve that riddle here. What interests me, however, is the age-old connection between the rose and love, and how I work with this symbolism in homeopathic consultations.
Remedies made from plants associated with the rose and the order Rosales also have a place in my homeopathic thinking. For me, symbolism is a source of inspiration when listening to a person's story. On its own, however, it does not establish a plant's therapeutic effect or the cause of their difficulties.
Giving and receiving
There can be many problems in a relationship. In consultations, however, I repeatedly encounter a sense of imbalance between giving and receiving. A person feels they do a great deal for their partner, yet remain unappreciated or neglected. One speaks about caring for the household, another about pressure and responsibility at work. There are many variations, but the feeling is shared: I give more than I receive.
Jan Scholten's plant theory inspires my thinking about these themes. In his homeopathic system, similar relationship themes are associated with what is called phase 6. I use this concept as a framework for thinking about a client's story, not as a medical classification.
What is missing in a relationship
Simply saying 'problems in love' is not enough for me to understand a person. I need to know what they are actually experiencing. One person speaks mainly of the family as a whole being neglected. Another misses their partner's attention, closeness or time together. Sometimes these areas overlap, with a very fine line between them.
In plant theory, I encounter the pictures of Rosales and Liliales in connection with these differences. I do not regard them as a measure of a person's maturity. They help me ask further questions rather than stop at a few memorised remedy characteristics. The following two cases illustrate how I thought about such stories in my practice.
Insomnia and depression after divorce
A client came to see me who had experienced depression and insomnia for several years and was taking antidepressants. She had lost interest in everyday activities and her appetite. She said her difficulties had begun after a divorce, accompanied by other life changes around the same time. Her account repeatedly returned to the experience of several losses at once.
She woke several times during the night and could not get back to sleep. Based on her life story, I recommended the homeopathic remedy Spiraea ulmaria. After a month, she reported a marked improvement: previously she had woken three or four times a night; now it was once. She then asked her doctor to reduce her antidepressant dose. When I contacted her again several months later, she said she was still doing well.
This is my account of one particular case alongside concurrent treatment. It is not a general promise of an outcome for depression or a recommendation to change prescribed medicines without a doctor.
Trapped in a marriage
Another client came with several difficulties, including ovarian cysts. At the very start of the consultation, she mentioned a long-standing conflict with her partner. She felt that responsibility for the household rested mainly on her. She had previously tried to bring about change, but now had no strength left. She was considering leaving the relationship, yet also felt obligations that kept her there.
I recommended the homeopathic remedy Rubus fruticosus. In this case, I subsequently recorded the disappearance of the cysts. This is an outcome described in a single case; the sequence of events alone does not establish that the remedy caused it.
The same theme, a different response
Even with a similar relationship theme, each person may respond differently. Within Scholten's framework, for example, I associate the picture of lady's mantle with trying to solve a problem together or downplay it. The blackberry picture reminds me more of bitterness and withdrawal when someone sees little hope of change. These are pictures within a homeopathic system, not fixed categories of people.
For me, this means listening carefully. Sometimes clients themselves can only grasp and describe their problem after several conversations. That takes patience. And as the old Slovak saying goes, patience brings roses.